I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
