I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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