Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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