but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
