I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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