how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
