Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
