well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
