My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
