don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize