i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
