called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
