Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
