how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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