Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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