there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
