mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize