did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
