Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
you made out with another girl for some wings
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize