Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
