If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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