I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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