I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
