wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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