dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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