More tranny stories later!
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize