Banned from zoo.
Again?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
