My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
are you so shy because you have an std?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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