Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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