I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
