im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize