She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
