On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
