What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
