her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Randomize
