It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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