Did you just see the Batmobile???
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize