I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize