If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
