So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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