508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
