God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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