People with herpes should wear stickers.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
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