I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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