White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
