She's JV to your varsity
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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