Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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