I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
