So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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