Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
