That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
