I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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