I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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