He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
