I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
