if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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