Christians are straight up FREAKS
i barfeds in our rink
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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