Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
