Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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