I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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