Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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