Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
